CHAPTER ONE
1.0 INTRODUCTION
Marriage is a socially sanctioned union typically between one man and one woman usually called husband and wife. Marriage is a uniquely comprehensive union of hearts and minds, but also distinctively a bodily union made possible by sexual complementarities. It is more than physical attraction and biological union; it involves total commitment, self-donation to one another and taking responsibilities that lead to mutual well-being and marital stability. Infidelity among married couples in Christian churches has been responsible for most cases of marital separation and divorce. This study investigated the Infidelity in Marriage Causes Effects and Remedies in Selected Churches.
Infidelity in Marriage Causes Effects and Remedies in Selected Churches
1.1 Background to the Study
Marriage also called matrimony or wedlock is a culturally recognized union of two people as partners in a personal relationship which historically and in some jurisdiction specifically involve a man and a woman. This most solemn, sacred and serious union into which people enter establishes rights and obligations between them as well as between them and their children, and between them and their in-law. It is sacred because it is established by God Himself. Serious because it binds the man and woman together in a relationship so close and intimate that their entire future will be profoundly influenced by it.
The sacredness and sanctity of marriage is expressed in the marriage vow itself, “To be my lawfully wedded wife and vow to be loyal to you in every way to comfort you to cherish you, from this day forward, for better for worse, for richness for poorer, in sickness and health and always to love you till death do us part according to God’s holy ordinance to this I pledge myself.” Marriage connotes a life time of dedication and surrendering to each other. A life of sharing the pains, frustrations, disappointments, victory, joy and happiness of each other. It is a life total dependence on each other.
Getting married is a life time experience that is often cherished and looked forward to with great enthusiasm, hope and expectations of eventual fruitful married life. Okoiye, Ukah and Nwoga (2016) asserted that when couples get married, they project establishing a happy and joyous home devoid of rancour, acrimony, violence, conflict or instability. However, the institution of marriage has been subjected to numerous challenges in recent times considering the fact that the challenges of the twenty first century contemporary societal expectations have made some marriages to experience distress, frustrations and uncompromising experiences that have had negative implications on them and caused marital instability. Entry into marriage is always an experience but it is often discovered that the journey through the marriage life is full of intricacies with unpleasant experiences one cannot deny.
In Nigeria, research studies have being conducted on family and marital problems. In view of these, there have been various research interests in the study of marriage problem so much that is no doubt that the country is beset with a rising incidence of separation and divorce cases after marriage (Audu, 2016). Problem of various descriptions for example locates infidelity in marriage as a major influence of separation and divorce.
Ayannuga and Adenuji (2017) noted that marital stability is the key factor in Nigerian marriages and it involves a lot of effort for its sustenance. Marital stability here is not only a value term but also a relative term which implies firmness and strength to endure under hard as well as easy circumstances. There is a strong alignment between healthy marriages and mental health. Successful marriage and married life will be able to meet many of mental and physical needs in a safe environment and significantly influence on individuals’ mental health. Harley (1996) also noted that it is a wonder that after couples have made solemn and sacred contracts and have promised before accredited witnesses to live together for better and for worse till death part them, the same couples became the architects of conflict and marital instability especially in present day Nigeria.
The marriage institution is in fact a reflection of the decadence and general disorder that is evident in the Nigerian society.
The norms and values which were once cherished in the olden days have been washed away as the society moves towards holistic, materialistic and cosmopolitan tendencies. Infidelity among couples is one of the most wrenching experiences a couple can endure. It can destroy families, crush spirits. It also can cause pain to the cheater. Hence, there is no other information about the origin of infidelity apart from the ones written in the Bible; therefore, the Bible remains the basis of information about the origin of infidelity among married couples.
The Bible states that, marital infidelity is the unlawful relationship between a married person and another person of the opposite sex (Book of John 8:3). This is when a person is having an extramarital engagement with another person. Harley (1996) posited that marital infidelity as an affair is when a married individual has intercourse with a person to whom they are not married, that is to say that, it is an affair of two people who are married to different people of the opposite sex.
Nigeria is a religious nation and vast majority of Nigerians, take issues of religion and religious practice as very important aspect of their lives. Also, marriage and religion influence various dimensions of life, including physical health and longevity of life, mental health and happiness, economic well-being and raising of children yet infidelity amongst couples is a major threat to this belief system and poses a risk to marital happiness.
Infidelity in Marriage Causes Effects and Remedies in Selected Churches
1.2 Statement of the Problem
Infidelity, being a worldwide phenomenon, has caused tremendous effects on the society and has impacted differently to different couples, socially, economically, psychologically, and culturally. It is one of the most damaging behaviors for the survival of a relationship. It creates a violation of trust and breaks the commitment partners made to each other; it weakens marital relationships and creates tension (Cohen 2015, Mapfumo 2016).
Marital infidelity in churches has been associated with varied emotional responses and behaviours such as increased anxiety and depression, suicidal ideation, along threats of divorce and physical aggression (Taghi, Ismail, & Jaafar, 2019). The act destroys relationships and research shows that it is the single most reason for divorce (Cohen, 2015), and it is due to the inability of spouses to observe sexual exclusivity of each other. Although there is a substantial body of literature on the prevalence and correlates of infidelity, there is need to pay attention to the factors contributing to infidelity. Therefore, this study sought to find out Infidelity in Marriage Causes Effects and Remedies in Selected Churches.
